Faith

I recently got an e-mail from an old friend from high school,  reminding me that our thirty-fifth reunion is fast approaching.  Considering that I haven't attended a single reunion yet, I'm not sure why he thought I should know about this.  Got me to thinking about high school, and dating.

Dating when you're young can be stressful, but at least you're young.  When you are middle aged, it's always stressful and you're not young.  The rules are totally different than back when we were kids.
I was trying to remember dates when I was young.  They were all pretty routine, or maybe I'm just so old I can't think that far back into the mists of time.  Little snippets of different things come back to me.  Movies.  Going to the beach.  Hiking.  A picnic on a warm day,  sun on my face.  The smell of the ocean.  The sound of water.  Mostly I remember the feeling of having my whole life ahead of me, of being invincible.  Usually there was water involved, a pool or the ocean.

I've had some memorable adult dates in the last couple of years.

It was a beautiful early summer day.  The guy picked me up on his motorcycle, and we rode out to the coast.  The weather at the beach was beautiful, just as warm and clear as it had been at home.  We walked on the beach for hours, holding hands, talking, laughing, and enjoying the sunshine.  Later, we had dinner in a small restaurant.  He let us eat at the bar so I could watch the game while we ate.  After dinner, he took me home.

I got an e-mail from a platonic friend.  He was someone that I had once been involved with, but was now just a friend.  He said, "Tonight is the height of the Perseid's Meteor shower.  Do you want to go see them?"  He picked me up at two in the morning, and we each brought our sleeping bags.  We drove up into the watershed, parked, and hiked in a bit, laid out our bags, laid down next to each other in our separate bags, and laid there for the rest of the night, talking and watching the meteors. 

I was meeting a man for lunch and a walk.  It was our first date.  We met outside a Mexican restaurant.  He kissed me immediately, and we started making-out right there.  Eventually we went inside, and had a great lunch.  After lunch, we drove down to the water and parked, walked along the water and out onto this rocky peninsula,  It was a beautiful afternoon, warm with a light breeze.  We settled ourselves on a rock, and talked and made-out for the rest of the afternoon.

As painful as dating can be, I think it's a process you just have to go through if you really want to find the right person.  I have a friend who has in her head the picture of the perfect man.  This perfect man also makes a tremendous amount of money.  She will make no deviations in the dating world from her own falsely inflated sense of expectation.   As a result, she has been alone for ten years, and fumes that "there just aren't any good ones out there."  I told her, half jokingly, that she should just marry some rich old man.   She replied, half jokingly, that rich old men want perfect young things.  She has a point; I do know younger women who would gladly be with a really gross old man if the price was right.  Of course, I have always thought of that as prostitution, but that's an entirely different subject.  The majority of us are not perfect young things, or gross old men, and where does that leave us?  Searching for the one.  Alone.  Morose.  I've just decided, if you want it, just get out there.  Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith.  Take a chance on someone you ordinarily wouldn't.  He could be Mr. Right, you never know.  If at first, or second, or third, or fourth etc. you don't succeed, well, the next one's around the corner.

You just never know where you're going to find your someone.  It's not easy.  And then, you find them, and suddenly- it's easy.