Before I established my fifteen minute rule, as well as my no long-distance dating rule, I made a dinner date with a man who lived a couple of hours away. We agreed to meet in a restaurant in my town. It's a popular spot, with decent food, not too expensive.
He showed up, a little late, at least 20 pounds heavier than his picture. He seemed like a nice enough man. We had exchanged a couple of e-mails, and a couple of phone calls, and after all, it was just dinner. There was a little wait for a table, and so we sat there, exchanging chit-chat. He immediately confided that he had been concerned that I was a psycho, like his ex-wife. That she only slept with him five times in twenty five years. That because of his "needs," he had a series of affairs that meant nothing- "a man must do what a man must do." As we were seated for dinner, he ordered wine, and proceeded to drink at least four glasses to my one. He also polished off the bread basket, while extolling the virtues of the casual affair as opposed to marriage. Variety, according to him, really was the spice of life, too bad he spent so many years married before he discovered this. Dinner lurched along, and I kept thinking, "Just get through this. It'll be over soon."
He was a staunch conservative Christian, disturbed by my being pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. He tried to tell me that the only suitable reading was the bible- all the answers were in there. I don't want to be dismissive of anyone's religious beliefs, but I am a fairly voracious reader in many different genres, and I don't restrict myself to one book for one faith. I need variety in my reading material, much like he apparently needed variety in women. Suddenly, over desert, he leaned across the table, and said, "Isn't it exciting to realize that you belong to me, and I belong to you?" Oh jeeze. Time to run like hell for the hills.
Well, certainly it was no love connection. Nowhere in the doctrine of my faith does it condone extra-marital affairs. If you want to have an affair, well, maybe you shouldn't be married. Just my opinion of course, I'm not so good at marriage myself. But, to me, a vow is a vow, and marriage is a sacrament. If you don't want to keep it, don't do it. Also, having sex five times in twenty five years of marriage, well, that seems like a really bad relationship. Again- my opinion.
At the risk of repeating myself:
1. Fifteen minutes is plenty of time, both to make and get a first impression.
2. Forget long-distance relationships.
He showed up, a little late, at least 20 pounds heavier than his picture. He seemed like a nice enough man. We had exchanged a couple of e-mails, and a couple of phone calls, and after all, it was just dinner. There was a little wait for a table, and so we sat there, exchanging chit-chat. He immediately confided that he had been concerned that I was a psycho, like his ex-wife. That she only slept with him five times in twenty five years. That because of his "needs," he had a series of affairs that meant nothing- "a man must do what a man must do." As we were seated for dinner, he ordered wine, and proceeded to drink at least four glasses to my one. He also polished off the bread basket, while extolling the virtues of the casual affair as opposed to marriage. Variety, according to him, really was the spice of life, too bad he spent so many years married before he discovered this. Dinner lurched along, and I kept thinking, "Just get through this. It'll be over soon."
He was a staunch conservative Christian, disturbed by my being pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. He tried to tell me that the only suitable reading was the bible- all the answers were in there. I don't want to be dismissive of anyone's religious beliefs, but I am a fairly voracious reader in many different genres, and I don't restrict myself to one book for one faith. I need variety in my reading material, much like he apparently needed variety in women. Suddenly, over desert, he leaned across the table, and said, "Isn't it exciting to realize that you belong to me, and I belong to you?" Oh jeeze. Time to run like hell for the hills.
Well, certainly it was no love connection. Nowhere in the doctrine of my faith does it condone extra-marital affairs. If you want to have an affair, well, maybe you shouldn't be married. Just my opinion of course, I'm not so good at marriage myself. But, to me, a vow is a vow, and marriage is a sacrament. If you don't want to keep it, don't do it. Also, having sex five times in twenty five years of marriage, well, that seems like a really bad relationship. Again- my opinion.
At the risk of repeating myself:
1. Fifteen minutes is plenty of time, both to make and get a first impression.
2. Forget long-distance relationships.
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