A while ago, my daughter's skating coach got married, and invited us to the wedding. Logistically, it was a bit complicated, because my daughter was in an art program in a different county for the summer, and not living at home. But she was close enough to go, so we went together. This eliminated the complications that arise when you are in a waning relationship, and he doesn't really want to do anything with you, and yet you are obligated to ask, for the sake of appearances. More on that, later.
So the morning of the wedding, I went to get get my daughter. Picked her, and her 3 bags of laundry up and we came back home. Started laundry, then went off to get her an outfit for the wedding- she had "nothing to wear." We went to my favorite consignment shop, and much to her surprise, found a great dress, and shoes, and everything fit to her satisfaction. This made her really happy. I could afford it all, this made me really happy. I had a cute little clutch for her to use, so fortunately I didn't have to buy that. Back home we went, to put clothes in the dryer and start another load. And primp for the wedding. It was a beautiful, warm summer day. The wedding was in another town in our county, the dinner and reception in another city in another county. When we left for the wedding, it was almost hot.
We were feeling so festive. I had really missed having my daughter home. My son was still there, eating my refrigerator down to the racks, but it's really different when suddenly you can see the counter top in the bathroom, and there isn't makeup and jewelry all over the place. You miss those little things. We had to park some distance away from the chapel, and my daughter learned why you just take cabs or park really, really close when wearing stilettos- they are hell to walk in, as good as they look.
The wedding was so beautiful. Gorgeous bride, handsome groom. Truly like that fairytale we all envision.
By the time the service was finished, the fog was starting to come in. We hadn't brought sweaters, plus my daughter's feet were really starting to hurt her, so we decided to go home and get sweaters. And flats for her. And do another load of wash.
The reception was also beautiful. I was having a lot of fun. Then came the first dance. The newlywed couple got up and danced. The love that they felt for each other was palpable; it made me cry, it was so touching. You could just see it in the way that they looked at each other. I realized, all this time, in the relationship I had been trying to maintain, that neither one of us felt that way about the other. That I was settling. I knew immediately that we were finished. That before me, moving gracefully around the dance floor, was a couple deeply in love with each other. I wanted to look at someone like that, and, yes, have him look back at me the same way.
At the end of the evening, my daughter and I went home, folded all of her now clean clothes, and then I took her back to school. Much later, I finally went to bed. Before I went to bed, I resolved: No more settling. I want real love. Reinforce the whole doing-your-own-laundry-thing. Get a car with better gas milage.
So the morning of the wedding, I went to get get my daughter. Picked her, and her 3 bags of laundry up and we came back home. Started laundry, then went off to get her an outfit for the wedding- she had "nothing to wear." We went to my favorite consignment shop, and much to her surprise, found a great dress, and shoes, and everything fit to her satisfaction. This made her really happy. I could afford it all, this made me really happy. I had a cute little clutch for her to use, so fortunately I didn't have to buy that. Back home we went, to put clothes in the dryer and start another load. And primp for the wedding. It was a beautiful, warm summer day. The wedding was in another town in our county, the dinner and reception in another city in another county. When we left for the wedding, it was almost hot.
We were feeling so festive. I had really missed having my daughter home. My son was still there, eating my refrigerator down to the racks, but it's really different when suddenly you can see the counter top in the bathroom, and there isn't makeup and jewelry all over the place. You miss those little things. We had to park some distance away from the chapel, and my daughter learned why you just take cabs or park really, really close when wearing stilettos- they are hell to walk in, as good as they look.
The wedding was so beautiful. Gorgeous bride, handsome groom. Truly like that fairytale we all envision.
By the time the service was finished, the fog was starting to come in. We hadn't brought sweaters, plus my daughter's feet were really starting to hurt her, so we decided to go home and get sweaters. And flats for her. And do another load of wash.
The reception was also beautiful. I was having a lot of fun. Then came the first dance. The newlywed couple got up and danced. The love that they felt for each other was palpable; it made me cry, it was so touching. You could just see it in the way that they looked at each other. I realized, all this time, in the relationship I had been trying to maintain, that neither one of us felt that way about the other. That I was settling. I knew immediately that we were finished. That before me, moving gracefully around the dance floor, was a couple deeply in love with each other. I wanted to look at someone like that, and, yes, have him look back at me the same way.
At the end of the evening, my daughter and I went home, folded all of her now clean clothes, and then I took her back to school. Much later, I finally went to bed. Before I went to bed, I resolved: No more settling. I want real love. Reinforce the whole doing-your-own-laundry-thing. Get a car with better gas milage.
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