Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sunglasses

I love sunglasses.  I have always worn them;  as a contact lens wearer, they are almost a necessity.  Plus someone told me that they would keep me from squinting and developing wrinkles around my eyes.  Well, go figure, I'm 53, got those little lines around my eyes, anyway.  Because I like to laugh, and smile, and they just develop there.  Plus I swim, and goggles leave marks there, too.  I'm not likely to lose either the goggle marks or the lines, any time soon;  I won't be getting Botox or any plastic surgery, nor will I be giving up swimming.  I'm just going to disintegrate, slowly and naturally.  Facials and eye creme, and my sunglasses, well, they all have to help slow the process, somewhat, at least that's what I'm hoping.

Those pesky men looking at internet-dating-site-pictures, they want you without the dark glasses.  I don't have many pictures of me, anyway;  I'm usually the one taking the pictures.  The few I have, I have those sunglasses on.  I feel like the sunglasses make me look better.  This hasn't worked out so well for me.  Men, apparently, can be as snarky as women. 

"If I can't see your eyes, I won't know if you are kissable or not."  Hmm.  Guess we could go out and see, but you know?  I think I'll be washing my hair.

"Hope that woman of mystery thing works well for you."  Quite well, actually.  Did I mention that I'd be washing my hair?

"How can I possible recognize you? Your picture has sunglasses."  Well, gosh, that one's tough.  Intellectually, you must be a little slow on the uptick, because I don't look that different with my glasses off.  But, you know- don't worry about it, I'll be washing my hair.

"I think you must be trying to hide something."  Yes. You're right.  Caught. In. The. Act.  Gotta wash my hair, now.

"You'll need to e-mail me some pictures, without sunglasses, or I can't meet you."  What a shame.  I can't meet you- got a date with my shampoo.

"I think you are beautiful and sexy, but I need to see your face without sunglasses."  Honey, I'm so sexy that without my sunglasses I'm sure you'll just spontaneously combust, but don't worry, the water from my hairwashing will extiguish the fire.

"Unless I can see the whole of your beautiful face, without dark glasses, I won't know if we are true soulmates."  Give me a fu*%ing break.  Soulmates, just by looking at my one dimensional picture, without sunglasses.  See any of the above comments regarding my hairwashing.

And the bitch of all this is- I have short hair.  And, apparently, plenty of time to wash it.

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